With dinner tonight I made sweet iced tea. Just the way I used to help my Mamaw make it every day when I was four years old. I boiled the water and the Lipton tea bags on the stove and then poured them into my curvy pitcher that looks just like hers did and added the sugar and ice cubes and stirred with my wooden spoon creating a tornado in the middle of the glass until all the sugar was dissolved. I could picture myself right in the middle of her kitchen, kneeling in her far right kitchen chair and looking over the tea pitcher in front of me on the round table. I remember the wooden spoon, curved on the end and stained all the way up from years of stirring tea and sugar together.

When I was little, before I started school, my parents both worked and my older brother and sister were in school, so every day I would go to Mamaw’s house. I would help her cook and clean up the kitchen, help her make hummingbird food and fill up the feeders, feed the cats in the barn and fill up the bird feeders out in the yard. We would sit outside in the hammock or the swing and talk for hours and play “I Spy” or The Car Game, where I would get cars and she would get trucks and we would count them as they passed along the highway and whoever got the most won (Cars were always more numerous, so I always won). We would sit at the dining room table and I would build things with play-doh or I would tear off huge sheets of white paper from the big roll she had and I would draw and paint with watercolors on them. She was a retired schoolteacher so we would often play school as well. She taught me how to read and would write out math problems for me to add and subtract. I remember her often taking a sheet of paper and dividing it into boxes and then writing a word in each one like “ball” or “wagon.” Then I would have to read the word and then draw a picture of the object in the box. I also liked to dress up in her make-up, scarves and jewelry and put on plays for her in the window seat in the back play room. I thought it was a stage built just for me.

Almost every single memory I have as a young child has her in it. I attribute a lot of myself to her. The way I think, the way I act, my morals and values, my interests and passions, in many ways a lot of my own character comes from her. I am very thankful for that. She truly was an amazing woman.

She passed away unexpectedly in her sleep one night in September of my Sophomore year of high school. She was 86 years old and in good health, so it wasn’t something I ever saw coming. I was 15 years old and knew I wouldn’t be able to have her in my life forever, but I never thought I would lose her so soon.

Since she has been gone for almost five years now, I’ve gotten used to her not being in my life. I don’t expect her to be sitting in her usual chair when I walk into my grandparents house or on her usual spot in the pew on Sunday mornings at church. I thought that the older I got, the easier it would be to deal with her not being there for everything. But in fact I think it just gets harder every day. Every day more things happen in my life that I’ll never be able to share with her. She never got to see me dressed-up for proms or meet any of my boyfriends. I never got to drive her to her Friday hair appointments in my car like she always wished we could do once I got my license. I didn’t get to share the good news with her once I got accepted into colleges or got the scholarship that would take me to one. I didn’t get to rush into her arms and show her my engagement ring  and she won’t be there to watch me walk down the aisle and say “I do.” One day I’ll have kids she’ll never meet and all kinds of other things she won’t be there for. I feel even worse for my little sisters who got to have her in even less of their lives than I did.

I’ve always thought about her often, but lately it has been a constant thing. Every little thing reminds me of her. It is hardest now because I’m in my first home of my own, just getting used to cooking my own meals every day and planning my wedding. I want so bad to ask her how she made certain recipes that she used to cook or ask her what it was like to be a bride-to-be when she was young. To ask her for relationship advice or household tips or how she made it all work with the calmest demeanor and without raising her voice.

When I was home last, my dad and I went through every single nook and cranny in my grandparents house searching for my Mamaw’s wedding dress. We thought that it might be somewhere and I would have liked to see if there was a way that I could wear it on my wedding day. I had no idea what it looked like or where it might be, but we looked anyway. We didn’t find it, but in a box in the top of the closet we did find this:

I’m really happy that we at least found this photograph of what she looked like on her wedding day. I wish I could ask her all about that day. Where she got her dress or if she had it made, if it was borrowed from someone in her family or what happened to it in the end. What made her pick those shoes or flowers and what did she wear that was old, new, borrowed and blue. I wish I knew who the other people in the picture were and what the ceremony was like. My dad did say that it is her grandpa walking her down the aisle.

Finding this picture and thinking about my own wedding made me realize that not only was my grandma only here for a short amount of my life, I was only in hers for a short amount as well. The hardest thing about losing her when I was younger was that I never thought to ask her more about her life. About her childhood growing up in the twenties and thirties and making it through the Great Depression and being about my age or a little older during the war and what that all was like. She saw so much change during her lifetime and I wish I would have asked her more about it all. I wish I could know more about what she experienced and what made her into the person that I knew her to be.

It’s hard to know that I never will have the chance.

I do feel amazingly grateful though that she was the grandmother that God gave me out of all the possible ones out there in this world. I’m so happy for the things that she taught me in her lifetime and how those things have helped me to grow up well even once she was gone. I’m happy I still have memories of her and personality and character of my own that was shaped by hers. I know I have a long lifetime ahead of me without her, but luckily she started me out in the right direction.

That is a note I have from her from when I was little. I’m pretty sure it came from my lunchbox that she packed for me when I stayed at her house one week in 3rd grade when my parents were out of town. 

I love you too Mamaw.

 

I’m only human, as much as everyone else is. I feel like I need to say that for some reason.

I don’t want people to get the impression that I’m this one sided-person who only cares about what color my curtains are or how my green beans are tasting this evening. In a world that is so crazy and with so much going on, do I only care about myself and my home decor? Of course not. I’m a human with thoughts and opinions and cares and struggles just like everyone else. My life isn’t perfect and it isn’t always easy. Who’s is? I know about all the craziness in this world. But what can I do about it? Dwell on it and let it make me crazy and angry? What would be the point in that? I won’t get into my thoughts and opinions on the world or politics. But I will say this, with all the negativity and sadness that the world can cause when you start to investigate it farther, I can’t help but retreat into the things that I love and that matter most to me. God, family, and things that center around the home. This is my escape. Especially since I’m in college and my classes force me to see the world closer, to investigate its politics, and evaluate our meanings in life. It is only natural that I use this blog as my outlet to value beauty and nature and talk about cooking, art, and decorating. It is my way of staying positive and happy in an otherwise stressful world.

There are still a great many lovely and wonderful things in this world of ours. This is my place to do my best to focus on those and remember the wonderful things that God has blessed me with. I hope you can all find a way to do the same.

Usually on Wednesdays, I’m scrambling all day long to get my art history assignment done. It is always due by Wednesday at 5 pm, and I never have enough time to work on it earlier in the week (or I’m just a procrastinator). Either way, it typically means that my Wednesdays are relatively stressful and rushed. Today however, we don’t have an assignment due! We turned our last one in last week and so we are done with assignments for the semester! (We just have a week and a half left of school)

Therefore, today has been much more relaxing than most Wednesdays, even though I still had other work to do. Tomorrow, my 8 smaller paintings that we’ve been working on lately are due. I had two that I needed to finish today (there is that procrastinating again) so I spent the morning/afternoon at the park painting.

It is funny what all you see and hear while sitting in the park for several hours. I brought my iPod with me, but I totally forgot that I had it, and I’m glad I didn’t turn it on. It was much more interesting to hear what all was going on around me. Wind blowing, leaves shaking, twigs falling out of the trees, birds, ducks, squirrels, people walking, biking, taking on the phone. Since I was there during the daytime, when most people are at work and most kids were at school, it made for an interesting combination of people. College students from Tulane and Loyola, older people, parents with their young children, moms with strollers, people walking dogs, people running/walking/biking, a girl that sung along with her iPod like she was on stage with a pop star, a teacher with her first grade class (whom she lectured for 10 minutes on not jumping off the bridge while they crossed it), another teacher yelling at her kids not to walk on the bike path, a guy from in a cowboy hat talking on the phone about Cowboys for Christ, and the list goes on and on.

It was a perfect day outside, I got my painting done (and I’m very pleased with how it turned out!), and it was nice to just sit and listen for a while. It seems like all too often I forget all about the world around me and get too caught up in my own little world.

I’m a list person. I make lists for everything. What to do today, what do do this week, things I want to do, places I want to go, I have lots of lists.

Today I was reading this blog post and it got me thinking about the list of all the places that I want to travel in life. Luckily, my family has always valued travel and we always went on summer family vacations and my dad has traveled all over the world. Travel is generally considered a luxury, but I also think it is a necessity. I think it is overwhelmingly important to see different parts of the world and see how people do things and how everything is so much different in the world from what you think you really know. This post describes it well. It is all about seeing the world in new ways and opening your mind to other things.

I’ve traveled many places in the U.S. and also one trip to Europe–France mainly but also a small part of Germany and a short excursion (like 4 hours to be exact) into Belgium. I wouldn’t at all call this extensive travel, but for a 19 year old, I wouldn’t call it bad either. I think that my trip to Europe was really crucial to helping me see things the way I do, to open my mind, to appreciate the things and opportunities that I have, to see how other people live, to break the barrier in my mind between the U.S. and “the rest of the world” out there, to help me survive on my own, and about a million other things. I couldn’t be more grateful. I really learned a lot that summer, and not only about the historic landmarks of Paris. I really hope that in my life I get to see a lot of other places and learn from them as well.

What places would you like to visit? (Comment and list the first ten places that come to your mind that you would like to see)

Here are some places I would like to go and things I would like to see (in no particular order):

-Visit the Alps in Switzerland (I would say ski, but we all know that I am beyond horrible at that! I fell off the ski lift the last time I went. I don’t really want to take my chances on a real mountainside)
-sing on a hilltop in Austria (i.e. The Sound of Music, haha)
-see art in Greece
-see art in Florence, Venice, and visit lots of other cities in Italy
-visit Kristine in Denmark
-visit Jacky in Germany
-tour southern France
-visit historic churches and mosques in Turkey & Russia
-see the pyramids in Egypt
-take Drew to a cafe in Paris and show him all the places that Anne-Nelly showed me 🙂

I’m sure there are a million more, but that is the first 10 that popped into my head! Sorry that they aren’t so creative, they are pretty typical destinations and almost all in Europe really, but you have to start somewhere!

In addition to travel lists, I also read several blog posts today about life lists. Here and here. I think that they are so cool and I would love to come up with 100 things that I want to do before I die. I just can’t seem to write many things down because I’m so afraid that I won’t get them done! But I guess it isn’t about the end goal, it is life in the process that counts.

Several months ago, I made a list of creative goals that I wanted to accomplish and I’m still working on that list. You can read it, here. I’m also still working on my 20 Before Twenty list! It is going pretty well actually! I’ve gotten most of my list done so far! I’ll give an update on it soon!

Remember to leave me a comment with your top ten travel dreams and places that you’ve visited and what you learned from being there! I’d love to hear about your travels! 🙂

I have to have 85% of my painting finished by tomorrow. It is not anywhere close to there. Not at all.

My back was hurting from painting in the studio at school (metal stools with no backs), so I brought all my painting stuff to Drew’s house where I could turn up the music and work in a more comfortable environment. Except that there wasn’t any space for my painting anywhere but on the bed. That’s the nice thing about being an adult. You can do all those things your mom would have never let you do. Like paint on the bed. 🙂

I’ve been painting for several hours and I haven’t even gotten any paint on the bed! See Mom! 😉

Although I’m somewhat frustrated at my painting though. It isn’t turning out like I want it to and is taking five times as long as the time I have to do it in. 🙁

My brain feels kind-of like this:

Hopefully it gets better, quickly.

I got a card today from my Dad. I think he meant for me to get it before break, but I didn’t have time to check my mail before we left to visit the little girls. Anyway, it had a couple quotes in it that he thought I would enjoy:

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. -Albert Einstein

It is good to have an end to journey toward but, it is the journey that matters in the end. -Ursala K. LeGuin

I think that is something that we all definitely need to be reminded of now and then. I’m sure we all get caught up in getting too anxious to get where we are headed that we forget to enjoy the journey that takes us there. I know I do. It is hard to remember to focus on the little things in life instead of only the major milestones. I can’t wait to graduate, I can’t wait to get married, I can’t wait to have my own house to decorate, I can’t wait to have kids… my list goes on of big things in my future that I’m excited about. I’m glad that I have things I want to do, but today, and all the little things that make up each day, matter too.

Slow down and enjoy life. It is not only the scenery you miss by going too fast–you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. -Eddie Cantor

He also sent me a pair of green shamrock lens glasses for St. Patrick’s Day. Haha 🙂

Happy Monday! Oh and it is also Pi day too! (3.14…)

Drew and I have been working on our budget. We are pretty thrifty people anyway, but Drew has a weakness for going out to eat. I cook almost all the meals we eat around here, but Drew doesn’t like doing the dishes, so very often he offers to just go out to eat rather than dirtying up more dishes. There are just two of us, so going out shouldn’t be too bad, but in New Orleans there isn’t anywhere that we can eat for under $20 (total). It usually is more like $30. I can buy all the fresh meat and veggies we need to make over a week worth of meals for $30! I like to cook anyway, so we are cracking down and putting a stop to the eating out. (not that we do it all the time or anything, but once is more than we have the money to spend it on.) We’ve got to be saving for our wedding/honeymoon.

Tonight I made Chinese! (I LOVE Chinese food!) I even cooked in a wok and made fried rice and homemade Chinese white sauce for our meat and veggies! It turned out really good! (I thought about making egg drop soup as well, but I already had too much going on to handle another dish!)

Speaking of budgeting, we’ve been working on the wedding budget this weekend. I had talked to possible photographers already, but I also looked into prices for flowers, venues, and catering this weekend. Plus I tried on dresses last week (and looked at the price tags!). Weddings are soooo expensive! How on Earth can people afford these! Did you know that the majority of Americans spend between $18,000 and $30,000 on a wedding! That doesn’t include the cost of a honeymoon or engagement ring either!

I’m trying to do as many things myself, but still, there are just a lot of things you have to pay for! Our draft guest list is at almost 250 people and that is mostly all family and several of our parents’ close friends. There aren’t very many excess people that we could cut off to cut costs. If each person cost $8 a meal, that is already $2,000, just in food! (and I can see people charging more than $8 a person! One of the caterers I looked at was $16 a head!) The photographer I want with digital copies of our pictures is $1,500. Flowers for bouquets, boutonnieres, and 20-30 tables at the reception is going to be around $500 (and that price is low for that many table arrangements). The dress that I really liked at the bridal shop was $1329. (that price was pretty average too) I’m definitely going to try to find something much cheaper than that though, no matter how much I liked it.

I’m worried about how much the venue for the reception will cost. I want to have the ceremony outside at my house, so other than plants and clean-up that is free. The reception I wanted to have in a pretty old wooden barn, but we don’t have one of those. (my grandparents have a barn, but it isn’t big enough and is falling apart) I don’t know where I can find one close to home either. Plus most wouldn’t even have a floor, not to mention electricity or bathrooms. A big white tent for the backyard is upwards of $3,000. Where would people use the bathroom at? What if it rains? Is the ground going to be muddy in the springtime? Up go the costs of renting tables and chairs as well. 🙁

Still I’ve got the costs of wedding rings, tuxes, bridesmaids dresses, shoes, veil, jewelry, hair appointments, decorations, cake/dessert, tablecloths, glass bottles for the table arrangements, invitations, save-the-dates, postage for invitations and save-the-dates, bridal shower, marriage license, and the list goes on and on and on! Hope no one wants to drink at our wedding. We can’t afford to pay for drinks. We can’t even afford to pay to feed anyone!

I haven’t said anything yet about a honeymoon either! I hadn’t even thought about the costs for that because I’ve never had to pay for a trip before. If we go somewhere for 5 days and pay an average hotel fee of $200 a night, that is already $1,000. Add in at least $800 in airfare. How are we going to get around? A rental car? That is around $30 a day! Plus gas! What about food? What about sightseeing? At minimum the honeymoon would be $2,000. That is leaving $200 for car, food, gas, sightseeing, etc.. which isn’t very practical. I know it will cost more than that.

I’ll be working this summer, but even if I worked all day long, every day of the summer, at minimum wage I couldn’t even save up enough for the honeymoon alone! The estimated cost of the wedding is at almost $10,000! I can’t even imagine telling my parents that! My dad has no clue how much a wedding is going to cost. That price isn’t even for anything extravagant! That is no alcohol, catering for one entree and two sides, water and lemonade, venue, flowers, photography, clothing, and decorations. That doesn’t include the honeymoon. Maybe I’ll be able to afford this wedding when I’m 40! I know realistically that I could get married in my living room by my dad for free. (others have done it) But I have had this picture in my head of what I wanted for my wedding since I was 8 years old! I don’t know what to cut out and still make it work with my vision. I’m only getting married once, I want it to be nice! Why is everything so stinking expensive!? 🙁

Some may call me a little old-fashioned. I actually had a teacher last year that asked me if I got lonely because I seemed to have ideals, that were no longer “ideal” in this world of ours.

In my American Literature class, we are learning all about post-modernism. That is, that we live in a post-modern world. A world of questioning and ever-changing identity. One that lacks stability because everything is constantly changing and we are constantly coming up with new solutions and new ideas on things. There are many things that I do agree with about post-modernism. But I wonder if things are starting to move away from it? Or maybe we are on the brink of a new time.

Because of the lack of stability in our world, I think that has lead many people to search for stability. To rely less on our ever changing economy and be more dependent upon themselves.

For example, I’m a big believer in old-fashioned, natural, organic, simplistic, down-to-our-roots kind of living. I want to grow my own vegetables in my garden, live in a old farmhouse with a wooden barn, have farm animals, use organic remedies and rely less on modern medicine, be creative, sew, be a do-it-yourself-er, and in general, try my best to make my own little world that is mostly dependent upon my own hard work, and less on the unreliably of our society today.

Today in society we are all so reliant upon someone else doing everything for us and us just being able to go to the store and get whatever it is that we need. What happens if something in that system changes? Will we know how to cope? I wonder what percentage of people in the world would even know where to start to grow their own food? (I even wonder sometimes if people even know what vegetables are anymore. I’ve seen people that live solely off of cereal and processed foods!) What about being able to make your own furniture? Build your own house? Make your own laundry detergent? Sew your own clothes? Find the natural remedies to help aches and pains? These are things that our grandparents or great-grandparents used to do on a daily basis. The people that know how to do things like this are mostly not around anymore. We need to not forget our roots.

I thought that I was one of the few people that seemed to value things like this. However, lately I have been really into blogging and found that there are many other people out there that also have similar ideals, even if they aren’t exactly the same as mine.

Going Home to Roost is a blog I stumbled across the other day. She shares her tips on simple living, organic gardening, raising chickens, cooking, and normal everyday stuff. A lot of the things that she is interested in are very similar to my interests. The Pioneer Woman shares similar stories of her encounters as well. There are many blogs out there like this, and many people that don’t have blogs that live like this too.

I was just reading Young House Love this morning when I read this post. It is all about bringing stodgy back. Stodgy meaning old-fashioned. You need to check out this video. Read about Stodgy is Sexy’s About. Here is an excerpt from Stodgy is Sexy’s about statement:

The MOVEMENT.

We live in conservative times. Cars are getting smaller, less flashy, and more fuel-efficient. Slender and pale is in, muscled and tan is out. Sport jackets have made a comeback for men, as have dresses and hats for women. With our economy in ruins, Democrats and Republicans fight to prove who is more fiscally conservative. A recent survey revealed that, for perhaps the first time ever, a majority of young people say they are more attracted to brains than beauty. Suddenly, boringly sensible is the new sexy. In a word:

Stodgy is Sexy.

Prudence, modesty, and stability may be boring, but boring is something we can trust in a turbulent world. Maybe that’s stodgy. But at this moment and for the foreseeable future, stodgy is sexy.

They have an interesting project going on. It does make me wonder if the post-modern world is slowing moving into another one. The nice thing about our world is that it is modern. There are lots of great conveniences. Which make it so much easier to incorporate old-fashioned values into your life in your own way. People wearing vintage clothing, caring about the environment, building things and renovating themselves, growing your own food, being less wasteful etc… There are tons of little old-fashioned things that are coming back into style. I guess only time will tell if this is a change in values or just a fad. I’m curious to see. 🙂

Today is National Tell a Fairy Tale day! How awesome! I love fairy tales! I took a Children’s Literature class last semester and we studied fairy tales for half the course. They are pretty interesting! One of my dreams in life is to write and illustrate a children’s book, most likely that will have fairy tale aspects.

What is your favorite fairy tale? It is hard for me to pick just one, I think that they are all interesting. Here is one that you might not have heard before:

Donkey Skin by Charles Perrault (a French fairy tale written around 1694)

Once upon a time there was a king who was the most powerful ruler in the whole world. Kind and just in peace and terrifying in war, his enemies feared him while his subjects were happy and content. His wife and faithful companion was both charming and beautiful. From their union a daughter had been born.

Their large and magnificent palace was filled with courtiers, and their stables boasted steeds large and small, of every description. But what surprised everyone on entering these stables was that the place of honor was held by a donkey with two big ears. However, it was quite worthy of this position, for every morning, instead of dung, it dropped a great load of gold coins upon the litter.

Now heaven, which seems to mingle good with evil, suddenly permitted a bitter illness to attack the queen. Help was sought on all sides, but neither the learned physicians nor the charlatans were able to arrest the fever which increased daily. Finally, her last hour having come, the queen said to her husband: “Promise me that if, when I am gone, you find a woman wiser and more beautiful than I, you will marry her and so provide an heir for throne.”

Confident that it would be impossible to find such a woman, the queen thus believed that her husband would never remarry. The king accepted his wife’s conditions, and shortly thereafter she died in his arms.

For a time the king was inconsolable in his grief, both day and night. Some months later, however, on the urging of his courtiers, he agreed to marry again, but this was not an easy matter, for he had to keep his promise to his wife and search as he might, he could not find a new wife with all the attractions he sought. Only his daughter had a charm and beauty which even the queen had not possessed.

Thus only by marrying his daughter could he satisfy the promise he had made to his dying wife, and so he forthwith proposed marriage to her. This frightened and saddened the princess, and she tried to show her father the mistake he was making. Deeply troubled at this turn of events, she sought out her fairy godmother who lived in a grotto of coral and pearls.

“I know why you have come here,” her godmother said. “In your heart there is a great sadness. But I am here to help you and nothing can harm you if you follow my advice. You must not disobey your father, but first tell him that you must have a dress which has the color of the sky. Certainly he will never be able to meet that request.”

And so the young princess went all trembling to her father. But he, the moment he heard her request, summoned his best tailors and ordered them, without delay, to make a dress the color of the sky, or they could be assured he would hang them all.

The following day the dress was shown to the princess. It was the most beautiful blue of heaven. Filled now with both happiness and fear, she did not know what to do, but her godmother again told her, “Ask for a dress the color of the moon. Surely your father will not be able to give you this.”

No sooner had the princess made the request than the king summoned his embroiderers and ordered that a dress the color of the moon be completed by the fourth day. On that very day it was ready and the princess was again delighted with its beauty.

But still her godmother urged her once again to make a request of the king, this time for a dress as bright and shining as the sun. This time the king summoned a wealthy jeweler and ordered him to make a cloth of gold and diamonds, warning him that if he failed he would die. Within a week the jeweler had finished the dress, so beautiful and radiant that it dazzled the eyes of everyone who saw it.

The princess did not know how to thank the king, but once again her godmother whispered in her ear. “Ask him for the skin of the donkey in the royal stable. The king will not consider your request seriously. You will not receive it, or I am badly mistaken.” But she did not understand how extraordinary was the king’s desire to please his daughter. Almost immediately the donkey’s skin was brought to the princess.

Once again she was frightened and once again her godmother came to her assistance. “Pretend,” she said, “to give in to the king. Promise him anything he wishes, but, at the same time, prepare to escape to some far country.

“Here,” she continued, “is a chest in which we will put your clothes, your mirror, the things for your toilet, your diamonds and other jewels. I will give you my magic wand. Whenever you have it in your hand, the chest will follow you everywhere, always hidden underground. Whenever you wish to open the chest, as soon as you touch the wand to the ground, the chest will appear.

“To conceal you, the donkey’s skin will be an admirable disguise, for when you are inside it, no one will believe that anyone so beautiful could be hidden in anything so frightful.”

Early in the morning the princess disappeared as she was advised. They searched everywhere for her, in houses, along the roads, wherever she might have been, but in vain. No one could imagine what had become of her.

The princess, meanwhile, was continuing her flight. To everyone she met, she extended her hands, begging them to find her some place where she might find work. But she looked so unattractive and indeed so repulsive in her Donkey Skin disguise that no one would have anything to do with such a creature.

Farther and still farther she journeyed until finally she came to a farm where they needed a poor wretch to wash the dishcloths and clean out the pig troughs. They also made her work in a corner of the kitchen where she was exposed to the low jokes and ridicule of all the other servants.

On Sundays she had a little rest for, having completed her morning tasks, she went to her room and closed the door and bathed. Then she opened the chest, took out her toilet jars and set them up, with the mirror, before her. Having made herself beautiful once more, she tried on her moon dress, then that one which shone like the sun and, finally, the lovely blue dress. Her only regret was that she did not have room enough to display their trains. She was happy, however, in seeing herself young again, and this pleasure carried her along from one Sunday to the next.

On this great farm where she worked there was an aviary belonging to a powerful king. All sorts of unusual birds with strange habits were kept there. The king’s son often stopped at this farm on his return from the hunt in order to rest and enjoy a cool drink with his courtiers.

From a distance Donkey Skin gazed on him with tenderness and remembered that beneath her dirt and rags she still had the heart of a princess. What a grand manner he has, she thought. How gracious he is! How happy must she be to whom his heart is pledged! If he should give me a dress of only the simplest sort, I would feel more splendid wearing it than any of these which I have.

One day the young prince, seeking adventure from court yard to court yard, came to the obscure hallway where Donkey Skin had her humble room. By chance he put his eye to the key hole. It was a feast-day and Donkey Skin had put on her dress of gold and diamonds which shone as brightly as the sun. The prince was breathless at her beauty, her youthfulness, and her modesty. Three times he was on the point of entering her room, but each time refrained.

On his return to his father’s palace, the prince became very thoughtful, sighing day and night and refusing to attend any of the balls and carnivals. He lost his appetite and finally sank into sad and deadly melancholy. He asked who this beautiful maiden was that lived in such squalor and was told that it was Donkey Skin, the ugliest animal one could find, except the wolf, and a certain cure for love. This he would not believe, and he refused to forget what he had seen.

His mother, the queen, begged him to tell her what was wrong. Instead, he moaned, wept and sighed. He would say nothing, except that he wanted Donkey Skin to make him a cake with her own hands.

“O heavens,” they told her, “this Donkey Skin is only a poor, drab servant.”

“It makes no difference,” replied the queen. “We must do as he says. It is the only way to save him.”

So Donkey Skin took some flour which she had ground especially fine, and some salt, some butter and some fresh eggs and shut herself alone in her room to make the cake. But first she washed her face and hands and put on a silver smock in honor of the task she had undertaken.

Now the story goes that, working perhaps a little too hastily, there fell from Donkey Skin’s finger into the batter a ring of great value. Some who know the outcome of this story think that she may have dropped the ring on purpose, and they are probably right, for when the prince stopped at her door and looked through the key hole, she must have known it. And she was sure that the ring would be received most joyfully by her lover.

The prince found the cake so good that in his ravishing hunger, he almost swallowed the ring! When he saw the beautiful emerald and the band of gold that traced the shape of Donkey Skin’s finger, his heart was filled with an indescribable joy. At once he put the ring under his pillow, but his illness increased daily until finally the doctors, seeing him grow worse, gravely concluded that he was sick with love.

Marriage, whatever may be said against it, is an excellent remedy for love sickness. And so it was decided that the prince was to marry.

“But I insist,” he said, “that I will wed only the person whom this ring fits.” This unusual demand surprised the king and queen very much, but the prince was so ill that they did not dare object.

A search began for whoever might be able to fit the ring on her finger, no matter what the station in life. It was rumored throughout the land that in order to win the prince one must have a very slender finger. Every charlatan had his secret method of making the finger slim. One suggested scraping it as though it was a turnip. Another recommended cutting away a small piece. Still another, with a certain liquid, planned to decrease the size by removing the skin.

At last the trials began with the princesses, the marquesses and the duchesses, but their fingers, although delicate, were too big. for the ring. Then the countesses, the baronesses and all the nobility presented their hands, but all in vain. Next came the working girls, who often have slender and beautiful fingers, but the ring would not fit them, either.

Finally it was necessary to turn to the servants, the kitchen help, the slaveys and the poultry keepers, with their red and dirty hands. Putting the tiny ring on their clumsy fingers was like trying to thread a big rope through the eye of a needle.

At last the trials were finished. There remained only Donkey Skin in her far corner of the farm kitchen. Who could dream that she ever would be queen?

“And why not?” asked the prince. “Ask her to come here.” At that, some started to laugh; others cried out against bringing that frightful creature into the room. But when she drew out from under the donkey skin a little hand as white as ivory and the ring vas placed on her finger and fitted perfectly, everyone was astounded.

They prepared to take her to the king at once, but she asked that before she appeared before her lord and master, she be permitted to change her clothes. To tell the truth, there was some smiling at this request, but when she arrived at the palace in her beautiful dress, the richness of which had never been equaled, with her blonde hair all alight with diamonds and her blue eyes sweet and appealing and even her waist so slender that two hands could have encircled it, then even the gracious ladies of the court seemed, by comparison, to have lost all their charms. In all this happiness and excitement, the king did not fail to notice the charms of his prospective daughter-in-law, and the queen was completely delighted with her. The prince himself found his happiness almost more than he could bear. Preparations for the wedding were begun at once, and the kings of all the surrounding countries were invited. Some came from the East, mounted on huge elephants. Others were so fierce looking that they frightened the little children. From all the corners of the world they came and descended on the court in great numbers.

But neither the prince nor the many visiting kings appeared in such splendor as the bride’s father, who now recognized his daughter and begged her forgiveness.

“How kind heaven is,” he said, “to let me see you again, my dear daughter.” Weeping with joy, he embraced her tenderly. His happiness was shared by all, and the future husband was delighted to find that his father-in-law was such a powerful king. At that moment the fairy godmother arrived, too, and told the whole story of what had happened, and what she had to tell added the final triumph for Donkey Skin.

It is not hard to see that the moral of this tale is that it is better to undergo the greatest hardships rather than to fail in one’s duty, that virtue may sometimes seem ill-fated but will always triumph in the end.

The story of Donkey Skin may be hard to believe, but so long as there are children, mothers, and grandmothers in this world, it will be remembered by all.

Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.
~C.S. Lewis

Sorry for the depressing-ness of my last post. I’ve been really stressed about all that for a while and I just needed to get it off my chest a little. Sorry for being so negative. I usually try to stay positive on here and in general, but I guess sometimes its good to speak your feelings. It reminds everyone else that no one is perfect, we all have struggles. So anyway, mine are no where near resolved, but I’m tired of thinking about them right now. It’s the weekend! I do want to thank everyone for all the advice they gave me, it is nice to know who is there when you need them. Anyway, I’m going to relax and enjoy the nice weather. Here are some pictures I took while walking to class yesterday: (sorry for the low quality–my phone takes crappy pictures and I didn’t have my camera with me)

My dad called me last night and read me this poem. He said he had heard it a long time ago and written it down. It was funny listening to him read it because he read it in his wedding voice–he usually always reads at least one poem at the weddings he does. It was just what I needed, a little cheer and a smile and support. The poem is good general life advice for anyone:

Desiderata (Latin for “things to be desired”)
written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.